Putting her hand on his neck, just below his cheek to capture his attention, she said compassionately, “No, don’t do that to yourself, Roman it was five years, honey. You grieved for me and moved on, it was what I asked you to do. I’m….happy that you found someone.”
Looking at her with a puzzled expression and then shaking his head to disagree, he said, “Oh, come on Doc, you can’t be happy about this in any way, it has to..hurt you to think I was planning to marry someone else. How can you be so..understanding about this when I don’t even understand it myself?”
He was hurting and she wanted to help him, but wasn’t quite sure how. “Roman, I…love you the same way I have always loved you, but I know that time has passed for you, it was only natural that one day you would find new love and I am glad about that.”
He argued somewhat intensely, telling her his feelings by making an assumption about hers. “Marlena, can you honestly stand there and tell me that there isn’t some small part of you that’s saying, he should have known I was still alive, he should have found me, he should have waited!”
Reaching out to hold him, she urged him not to be so hard on himself, “Oh, Roman, please don’t do this to yourself; there was no way you could have known. Honey, you saw my plane go down, you believed I was dead and you did whatever you had to do to survive the loss.”
Suddenly he became very emotional again, saying,”Yes, but…our love was so strong, Marlena…I should have..sensed your presence, I should have…. Dammit! I should have….known somehow, but I didn’t and because of that you lost five years of your life, five years of being with your children!”
She reached up with her fingertips to wipe some his tears away and then took his face in her tender hands and said, “Roman, I want you to stop this right now, this will get us nowhere, it will only cause you pain. You know that there is no way you could have known and none of what happened to me is your fault. You were not responsible and you did the best you could to survive the pain of losing me.”
Finally, he seemed to accept it and nodded his head, saying, “Okay, you’re right, it doesn’t do any good, but I feel..so bad about it.” Then, he changed directions as he found himself gradually embracing the love emanating from her very pores, while at the same time it made him uncomfortable to feel some physical attraction for someone whose loss he had grieved years earlier. “Do you have any idea how… incredible it is to hear you talking to me, to see you looking into my eyes this way?” he asked as he stared at her with amazement again.
She smiled one of those wide dazzling smiles and said, “Yes, because it feels incredible to be standing here looking at you, touching you, I love you so much Roman!” She whispered in his ear, “It feels so good to be in your arms like this. You smell so good to me..Oh, I love you so…” she finished, pulling his body closer, she couldn’t seem to get close enough. Feeling the desire build, she started to kiss his lips, wishing he could say those words in the same way and make love to her on the spot.
It was so strange and wonderful to have her in front of him after so long and he did love her…very much, but he had mourned for her and tucked that everlasting bond of love for Marlena away in a special place in his heart. It was locked safely inside and now…could he find a way to open up his heart to it again, and if he did, what about his genuine feelings of romantic love for Isabella which were completely in the present? It was suddenly almost overwhelming to Roman and he felt like running, but no… Holding her hand to his lips he said, “Doc, I… love you too, but I…I…. Oh, this is all so…strange..” he said with anguished tones as he pulled away from her slightly. “I’m…sorry, Doc..I’m sorry but I…”
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